sanctuary

it's odd.
going through something so incredibly life changing.
to be so self-aware, but so self-involved.
to be mature enough to realize the weight of your actions, but immature enough to remain complacent to the full gravity of the situation.

is that what adulthood is?
making decisions, being led by some unexplainable force, and hoping the sky doesn't fall down on you.
hoping you don't get marked with a curse.
hoping the oceans don't swell up while you watch the lifeboat leave without you.

have you ever tried to explain making a momentous decision to someone?
you stumble over your phrases of 'it's time' and 'He told me to'.
when the honest truth is that you have no idea.

i have no idea why i did what i did.
the two typical situations do not apply to me.
i'm an outlier, making this decision because i feel that it's right.

i know that it's right.