"be doers of the word"

A year ago, I was molested.

In the moment(s), I felt powerless, dirty, used, worthless.

Through the grace of God, I got out of it.

I spent the next 6 months, hopelessly clinging on to whatever/whomever looked my way. If that relationship crumbled to dust, I was determined to do whatever I had to do to make sure the next didn't end up the same way.

I had ruined the first "real" thing that I had felt, and there was no way in hell that I would let that happen again. I blended into relationship after relationship. I lost myself in other people's ideas. If he wanted someone that was adventurous and spontaneous, then that's what I would be. If he wanted someone that was romantic and hard-working, then that's what I would be. I would be whatever I needed to be loved.

In the moment(s), I thought that I felt strong, pure, productive, and worthy.

Through the grace of God, I found someone that knew how to speak to my heart.

She showed me new worlds, new ways, and old values. The values that I had grown up with all my life, but had never truly believed.

It's odd to come to the realization that you are in the middle of your conversion story. Although conversion to Christ is a lifelong process, there is an often a smaller period of time that really fuels and brings about that transformation. 

I am 1000% different than I was 365 days ago. Every fault that I had, I have learned to repair. While they have thus been replaced with new faults to recognize, it feels so amazing to know that I have the strength to overcome even the largest of demons.

I will forever spend my life grateful to this year. I finally feel like I have some say in how my life goes. I have spent the last 20 years being acted upon. It is now my turn to act, and to be the (co-)author of my own story.

xo.